Someone stop me!
So I’ve signed up for 12 credits over the summer, I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking with that kinda schedule. Work work work and school school bleh. Plus it totally drains my funds, with the unexpected tuition cost I’m paying, I’m going to have live on like $800 for 3 months! Thank goodness I don’t pay rent… But it’s not going to be much after bills and gas. So after school is done I get to look forward to 8 am class in the summer.
I’m in ok shape for the semester if I don’t care about my GPA. I don’t even need a C- to pass finite, just any passing grade will do apparently. So maybe if I get a tutor before the final and cram my ass off I may pull it off, though I better not get the one that wanted to get into my pants like last time : /. Though I did pass that class… lol I’m one fucked up Asian, can’t do math, but can write awesomely… usually…
Today or yesterday, I slept until 2 pm! Well I got up at 9:30 and was like fuck it, I got nothing to do (well except a million things) and slipped under the covers to hide from the light. Eventually I did get up and did my laundry including wash my sheets. I feel like a tard because I’m using them again even though I have a second set made of like knit fabric or something. Flannel is for the winter, but oh well I guess, it’s pretty cold. I also moved my 27” crt out of my room to my other room. I had to move the tv stand that has been constructed for the last 2 months and unused too. It has a stupid swivel top that made it a total pain to lift a 27” crt tv on to. I finally got it on top of the stand, then spent like half an hour trying to get the top swivel part to align correctly because I moved it out alignment. I also got my speakers (which ironically cost more than the TV), but haven’t hooked it up. The tv stand is kinda to shitty for all the stuff I have. It’s not even solid wood construction. But my parents bought it so… yea… I’m to poor to get something more decent and I’ll never really enjoy it.
Poor poor poor is me, but apparently the FAFSA thinks I’m rich. My EFC was 16xxx! It included my parents into the mix, but the number is because of my savings and salary. I don’t know how they expect me spend over half my salary on school. Total suck! Time for some swiss bank accounts ;).
Lastly, I was honestly trying to avoid this, but Dave popped into my life again. Well, in some IMs, he is 4-5 hours away from me. Which is good thing, I think… I stopped talking to him months and months ago because of something he said. I don’t recall what, but it pissed me off at the time. I said I wasn’t going to talk to him for a week then a month and then a bunch of months pasted where I honestly was better off than worrying about him.
Now we are sorta talking, just like “old times”. I don’t like where it’s going. I think he is still with that chick, not that it matters. I know it’s a bad thing, but I can’t stop myself from going down that alley again. I’m trying to be cautious in how I go about this, because I’ll just so easily slip back into that whole “old times” thing. Yet part of me actually thinks I might be ruining a good thing by being so damn cautious. Just so freaking conflicted even when the right choice is so obvious. Stupid feelings and emotions might just get the best of me.
A list is necessary
- don’t trust him
- left/dumped me twice!
- smoker cough cough
- is an asshole (except I’m crazy and it may just count as a pro for him….)
- 4-5 hours away and gas is mega uber expensive
- was NEVER there when I needed him
- put me through emotional hell
- emotional hell counts twice
- didn’t even have the decency to break up with me both times without me bring it up first
- background is iffy and people don’t change
- dropout, not even college dropout
- constantly moving
- been treated better my gay b/f who had me as a cover gf, not expecting a whole lot, but tiny things do count….
- I’m leaving the country so it all doesn’t matter!
so fuck dave, now i feel a little better
Time for sleep and for me to regret it all in the morning because i’m a psycho bitch.