the times of kryptoniteglows

Ok, time for something that I really think about, probably means this will turn into a long ass rant. I guess Dave decided to unblock me on AIM and shit, so fucking childish to begin with… However, we are pretty much on no speaking terms. I can live with that, as much as I try to be the nice gal, he has to be a fucking prick…

I did finally go to Kohl’s to use that $10 coupon they sent me, got a pair of green sweat pants that are perfect for being a bum yet looks almost non bummish.., this really nice red cami, and a dress shirt for work. All of it was on sale, plus I got the $10 off so it was an awesome deal. The dress shirt at the normal price would have cost more than my entire purchase total!

Sunday I did shit for Havok, all of the stuff is coming together. Unfortunately I tend to just drift out sometimes….Later I went down to the beach, hate doing that since it puts like a week worth of mileage on my car. Next time I go down, gonna try to get more sunlight and maybe split a ride down :). Thinking bout going down on a Thursday night after my class and then coming back Friday night so I can take the most advantage of my time off from work, could probably come back Saturday morning too and make it on time for work… Anyhow, I’ll have time later to plan all that out…

I’ve stayed 100% sober all weekend which is so weird. It is almost freaking me out! It just feels different… I don’t have a drinking problem or anything, but it just doesn’t feel right not be so sober if that made sense…

Now here comes some actual thinking. I’m wondering if I have to much freedom or what now. I wasn’t really allowed to drive at all until I got the Neon which was pretty much last summer after high school graduation. Prior to that I basically didn’t do anything except school, work, and be in the house. Since then I have definitely spread out so to speak. I do lots of different shit besides just school, work, and be at home. I’m really not home that much at all now. I am in college, but living at home with the parents. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot about college kids going back home and not having any freedom. Like they have to ask their parents to go out and things like that… I’ve also seen stuff about the kids that are in college and stay at home having those same issues, but all the time. It makes me wonder about my freedom because I pretty much come and go as I please.
That is not to say my parents approve or anything, but if I’m gonna go somewhere, then I do just that.. There isn’t a can I do this, it’s more like I’m doing this, bye! I guess there also isn’t much they can do to me in terms of punishment because I pay for everything! The most I suppose they could do is kick my ass out, which I have thought was going to happen a few times… However, I don’t think they will unless I become a druggie or something. And if they do kick me out, I’m good in terms of cash and I can always crash around until I find something permanent. Of course at some point the cash situation will become strained, but I’ll just have to adjust.

That leads me to something else, my parents have been on a house search for what seems like FOREVER! They were suppose to buy a house before I went to college so they wouldn’t have so much damn liquid funds in their bank account. That hasn’t happened and I’m stuck footing the full price bill of college. Which sucks, but it’s ok, I’ll deal and live… Now they are still interested in buying a house, but in order to buy once they may need to borrow money because of the sharp increase in housing prices. They would like to borrow like $10K from me. I’m cool with them doing that and I probably would just be like keep it and don’t worry about paying me back. I would just think of it as paying rent for a year or so… However, if I do that my cash situation becomes icky. I’ll have no stash of cash, become pay check to pay check type of person. Also, if things become sour between my parents and I, it would suck to kind of be forced under the same roof with them as well as really suck looking for a place on a highly limited budget…

I must end my rant now because I got to get to Stats I…:(

I need an freaking nap, I’m at work and so tired! There is nothing to do, well I’m on a break anyow, still…. So cold… Darn servers needed so much cooling…

Not… My head is pounding! I don’t know for what the fuck reason because I have NOT been drinking tonight. I was going to, but glad I didn’t go with those plans because my head would probably be pounding twice as hard!!
My eyes are itching like a fucking bitch! Ok, on second thought that doesn’t make much sense… Anyhow, they are itchy and red now. My nose is like a leaky sink that can’t be fixed, though that is partly my fault since I took some meds that have that kinda effect. Yes, I’m not exactly why they have a med that makes your nose leak out snot, but I tried some counter meds that have helped a little. Until then I just have to wait for it to wear off.

I managed to pass calculus, just barely! I got to say I don’t care, as long as I get credit for taking the damn class I’m happy. Though I can’t say I’m not disappointed in myself, because the subject is quite concrete and I could have gotten that B or even A if I had actually tried. I never did any of the suggested homework problems, because well it was never collected. If I did do them, then I would have probably understood the stuff better. I know all the other kids will blame Waters for being a bad professor, I’ll say he wasn’t the greatest, but I’m sure a lot of the fault lies in the kid not trying either. I also managed a C in World Religions! That class I just gave up in, it was just a lot of memorization that I didn’t have such a great grip on.

Overall, my GPA didn’t suffer to badly. I hope to definitely bring it up. If it’s ever questioned, I do have some justification for the drop. I mean working 3-12 and volunteering when you are not working is going to eventually take it’s toll…

Now I’m working bout 30 hours a week and taking 2 classes and trying to focus on Havok. It’s a bit hard since it’s not my vision, but Mike’s and I was never really became a part of Havok until recently.

Anyway I’m out for the night, parents and bro are leaving for New York and I gotta meet up with Mike and Jon for Havok stuff…

I am dreading 8 am tomorrow, don’t even know how I am going to get myself up for the freaking calculus final. I am so going to fail the class that there is almost no point in going, I think I could even have a better chance of winning the lottery or something. This week has been horrible to say the least. 8 AM class and then working till 12 AM has taken it’s toll on me and the week hasn’t even been finished! I want to head down to the beach or something this week, but my car may not feel like being so nice to me and we got lots of major things we must hash out for Havok. As a matter of fact, I should be meeting Mike at Hojos tomorrow to get situated with the rooms we are renting. We got the D-Link sponsorship which totally rocks!

Anyhow, I can’t study this calculus stuff because it makes no damn sense to me at all. I want to drink so badly, but I can’t because I have a class in about 2 hours. I haven’t drank all in about a month! Yea, this weekend was going to me the beach and my bottle of booze…

Oh yea, the class I’m taking in 2 hours is my stats I class. It was so boring during the first class and we don’t even have our real teacher! The real teacher is out of the country right now! WTF??? You have a class to teach and you leave the country? Anyhow, the guy we have no claims to be a Dr. something. I say claim only because his ID badge says part time student and not faulty. I mean my ID badge says part time student on it! Haha, it would have been hilarious if I just pretended to be the one teaching the class, no one would be none the wiser, except for Mike… I save about half the price on the book for stats, but it’s got highlighting in it! I would have never bought the bought the book if it had highlighting in it, but I guess I’ll deal for now. I had to buy my accounting book new and it was $92.50! Not even a hard cover book, actually it’s a big giant soft cover book and half of the book is really just worksheets! What a ripoff!

Well, HELL WEEK is just that. The check engine light came on my Neon when I was driving back from my DelTech class yesterday. I pulled the code and it say the fuel system was running lean. So it could be a bunch of different things causing it :(. Today, while driving back from finals, it wasn’t on. Anyhow, got some fuel system cleaner and will run it through…. Grrr, gotta get inspected next month too. Already spent over $800 this month!

So A in Business Information System, B in Macroecon, F in World Religions, B in Sociology, and an impending F in Calculus. Sucks!

Got class in about half an hour, at least Mike will be there.

I got a call from some contracting company about a job, they only want to pay me $15/hr. It’s in Wilmington though… Should of said no, but I can’t. David was sitting right there with me saying um ok, maybe, sure….

So yea…later!