the times of kryptoniteglows

10 page paper is due tomorrow and I literally only have my name on a word document right now. I am so fucked… Who knew a class that met once a week would be this hard? It’s not like I had that much time to begin with on this paper though, he gave it to us just last week. However, being the procrastinating person I am, I’ve finally started to open a document to work on it the freaking day it’s due! I am so failing this class :(.

I think I probably failed the math exam on Monday too and I can’t figure out any of the assigned homework for this week. It’s like I must of wrote down the questions wrong because I don’t understand them at all! I’ll probably never use anything I learn in the class, but for the time being I actually need to pass it. Along with all those other classes. I can’t believe I’m actually passing history so far though. He is such a lenient grader or something…

Yes, I have freaking issues since I’m typing this instead of my international accounting paper on South Korea. Unfortunately it’s not an easy paper either, it actually seems to require that I know what the heck we’ve been doing for the past 2 months which for me is really nothing. A whole bunch of rules about GAAP and IFRS that I just don’t care about. I’m sure by the time/if I ever apply these the rules will have changed.

Oh yea, my inboxes are all filled with junk. More so than normal. Some dumb fucker decided to spam the UD list and tell everyone to reply if they hate junk. Everyone else being the dumb fucks they are, reply to all and everyone gets one of the dreaded messages. Irony right there, you stupid idiots!!! Fucking UD could at least make it so that only udel.edu accounts can send to the list and if someone decides they are going to be so cool to send out their own mail of saying omg I hate spam so much do you? that UD actually does something about it like taking away their internet access or getting fined or something! My work box is filled with all these alerts for servers, I’m not sure why I’m on the list of the alerts considering I don’t have access to the servers the alert is for… Maybe someone selected the wrong name on the exchange address box… Or maybe I missed some memo… I finally got a raise at work though, it was exactly what I needed to stay. I should of asked for more, but damn I suck at negotiating! I’m usually good at saving the money I have, but can’t ever seem to ask for more. And I finally did the calculations AFTER TAXES, the raise wasn’t as good as it first appeared. Just about half as good I thought it was going to be. Damn taxes…

That being said, the state of Delaware was sure quick about getting me my refund. Like less than a week I think! Now I’m just waiting on the feds, once I get that, I’ll start my roth IRA while I can actually make contributions.

Spring break starts tomorrow after classes! Woot! Not that it really means anything since I still have to work my regular schedule and I have somehow gotten a butt load of work from my classes. Though I’ll actually be off Tuesday night and I can watch House! That sounds so lame, but I love the show and I’ll finally be able to watch an episode. I was actually excited this past Tuesday because we had an exam in class so I was able to leave early, in time to catch House. But I was so severely disappointed that they were showing American Idol! Ugh… I like way to many of these doctor shows, crazy thing is that House is actually English. He doesn’t have an accent :(, that would make him even more hot…lol… You would think him being old and married would just automatically make him unhot…but I’m crazy so that doesn’t apply. Something about him playing such a hard ass makes me want to grab it ;). Kidding..or not… A search on Imbd shows that he actually played Stuart’s dad in Stuart little, he was so not hot in that movie. Ugh… hard to believe the same guy plays both characters. Enough about that…

This is seriously fucked up, I rather type endless on pointless aspects of my live than do this 10 page paper that counts for a quarter of my grade.

Day of green beers has come. Bleh. I didn’t even realize I took off on St. Patrick’s day until like just now because Google’s thing was green with shamrocks. I’m so unbelievably tired, but can’t sleep. I was up until 4 amish because I was trying to do my finite math homework, I can’t afford to miss any more questions or fuck up on any more test. The same goes for my international accounting class, I failed even with a curve! Now I’ve got a 10 page paper to write for the class and less than a week to do it! This is insane, finite test Monday, mid term in bus tele come Tuesday, and that 10 page paper due all next week. I gotta say I sure as hell glad I decided to keep this day off, maybe I’ll get some of this studying and all started. I’ve been such a fucking slacker that I’m literally failing more than half my classes and passing by just a thread in most of the rest.

This is due mostly to procrastination and not being able to concentrate when it comes down to the wire. I use to be good at it, but now everything seems to frustrate me, like I’ve reached the full capacity on my brain. I’ve literally had a headache from yesterday afternoon till today, think I’m going to have to pop some pills as much as I hate taking them because it’s almost unbearable. Or I need to take some sleeping pills because as much as I am lacking in that, I can’t force my body to just sleep at any given time. It’s stupid because I DO WANT to sleep.

I also am going nuts, I hated myself for not being able to let go a year ago and now a year later I’m mad that I can’t hold the little pieces. I’m afraid to get them back and I’m worried that I don’t even want them back, but this preoccupation with something so trivial is rather disturbing. I can’t even make the simple decision of whether to allow myself to want them or despise them. I do eventually get what I want, but what happens after I have it? Not a great track record on that….

EDIT: Now I see this quote that just seems to give the answer, but sadly and crazily I’m not willing to accept it….

The longer I am away from you, the more I realize I was never in love with you. I was only in love with the idea of you.

3.14 so Pi Day! I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. I hate this, I can’t sleep at night and I’m all tired through out the day. The strange thing is I want to sleep right now, but I just can’t. Even more strange is that often times I’ll actually wake up BEFORE my alarm clock goes off!

My taxes are finally handled and in, I would of never waited this long but I had to wait for my parents to file to see if it would be better to claim myself or let them claim me. As it turns out, I get back much more if I claim myself and because my parent’s income is so low, claiming me doesn’t do that much for them in terms of deductions. Though I am pissed because I have to pay the accountant $115 for preparing my taxes (better than the $500 my parents have to pay though), BUT the WORSE part is that the accountant took a deduction incorrectly for me. A $683 difference! Yes, I had already prepared my taxes myself before I took it to him and I had one for if I was going to be claim and one for independent. So I had to pay for something I already pretty much did and catch their mistake. However, I’m going to take the $115 or well give up the $115 and think of it as added piece of mind should the IRS find an error.

I told my mom about wanting to do study abroad, she didn’t seem to care much about me going to Germany. Oh well, of course she doesn’t care if she isn’t footing the bill. Now I need to talk to work about it, my one year review will be on Monday, seeing how that goes, I may not even need to talk them about it. And I just realized the deadline for one of the big $$ scholarships is tomorrow for the study abroad thing, well sh*t! Though I’m not counting on getting any scholarships for this, being all highly competitive and me having like zero financial need according to the government :(. Though I suppose the positive twist is that if I don’t this one I can apply for the scholarship and apply for the MIS study abroad to Australia for the following year.

bsb705837@yahoo.com

Stupid idiot keeps sending out her dumb questions to a UD list, now I hope her box gets filled with spam.

I’ve got an exam in less than an hour and I haven’t studied at all, yet I’m making some pointless entry in here. I’m so tired and slept all throughout history class, I was going to skip and study, but I skipped it earlier this week so gotta keep up with appearances and all that.

The Knicks game I was planning on going to is sold out and I didn’t get tickets in time, but I did get the day off from work so I get an almost guilt free day off. It would be awkward to rescind my day off. I’ve got a load of finite homework that I haven’t looked at, due tomorrow at 9 am. Ekk.. Then over the weekend I’ve got to read this book for history class and take a test on it. I never remember all the things I read.

Europe is getting further and further away from me. The ~$2k set back from work not giving me reimbursement and not maybe a $1.5k setback from taxes. I stand to get $1.5k more dollars back if I claim myself as independent, but if my parents claim me as a dependent then they get the $1.5k because it’s kick back from ME paying tuition. So fucked up that they can just claim me and the money I PAID for school. Of course I’m using their accountant this year so who do you think the taxes will come out to benefit? I’m screwed… I haven’t even done my Roth IRA contribution, but I’m so BROKE!!! I’ve got to figure out how to finance a summer class or two, fall semester with like no scholarships, winter session abroad.

I really do want to do the abroad trip, Europe is like one of the places I’ll never go on my own. I have family in Asia (in China as you could guess) and some family in Australia so the Accounting study abroad to Australia doesn’t seem so appealing and it cost a bit more as well. So Europe is the trip for me, but there is so much more than just paying for it. I’ve got to interview and be selected. It’s all competitive and all that stuff. Then during the Fall, we have to meet 2 hours a week on Mondays for the trip. I don’t know if I can work with that… Oh well, first thing is to actually get picked…

And now to cram in some of this boring stuff that I really don’t know.